hey bitch, do me a favor and shutthefuckup. i don’t a shit. i’ve only been herre for a day and i wanna get out now.
Wow bitch… Are u really gunna act like some stuck-up asshole???
I’ve been in this wretched house for the past two weeks with annoying people who scream, shout, and piss me off 24/7 straight.
I need to get out but noooo all u do is be a little bitch and tell me that I can’t do shit or nothing. I try and accomplish shit but all you do is disapprove and say that it’s a waste of time. How can I have your approval if all u say is no bitch?? I’m sick and tired of you telling me that I can’t do shit. You don’t know what i’m capable of because you don’t know me. You act like you do but u don’t. You don’t know what goes in my life and absolutely do not tell me how to run it.
You know when you say “i’ll miss you…” I wonder if you really mean it.
I look back at all the times we had and I say to myself, “I miss what you do, not you”
i’m heels over head for you. i hope you notice.. you say you love me and care about me and you miss me. but we can never be you say. if you truly love and care about me, then be with me. i’ve been here all along, waiting on you. but you don’t see it. all i want is you and only you, but you deny it. but it’s true you know… that all i want is you,
he’s got me. and i got him. our love is a bond that’s stronger than ever.
i’m sick and tired of this shit.
the fact that i can’t even have my own privacy in my own fuckin’ room just ruins it. the fact that they look through my shit and throw away my own shit just tears it. the fact that they judge me and critize my every move all day, every day. the fact that i do one simple mistake, and i have to hear a whole wad of crap how i’m some “brat” or i’m “spoiled”
i hate being here… it brings back all the shit that i could run away from. it gets tiring and i can’t run away because it’s there the minute i walk up.
It’s not called puppy love. But it’s not called love where I wanna marry the person.
It’s love where I still miss him and love him…
I miss having him around. I miss him teasing me then I get mad. I miss holding his hand. I miss him smiling at him. I miss cuddling with him. I miss him and I regret NOT taking him back.
But seeee the thing is… He can be a jerk. He likes her, and wants to be with her. And ‘she’ doesn’t know her boundaries, being a little hoe. But when I tell him straight up, he Denys it.
My friends are no help either, they dont know what I’ve been through and they crush it anyways. Thanks for always have my back kids -.-
I miss him and it hurts when I think about it. Now and then, I realize I’m an idiot then again, I realize I’m smart for letting him go… It’s all too confusing
because you’re a dumbass and you ruined my life? why thank you asshole :) thank you a million.
alright so yesterday was graduation day and it was ah-mazing. and here’s what we did:
- woke up at 6:30 er 7? to do my hair, makeup, and what not. my hair looked freakin’ NICE! and my eyes popped :) so… i got my cap and gown on with my dress haha
- got to sleep at 9 and a lot of people were there. took a lot of shots with almost everyone. a lot of people commented on my eye shadow (it was purple-pink lol took me a while to do it). er i had the same dress as angela lol (but it’s okay, it’s not like it was someone bad)
- we got inside, getting our sash things for CJSF. lined up for church. and we were on our way… so it’s church and it just passed on by. er daniela, angela, and patrick’s singing ain’t perfect but it was alright hehe ^^ haha i had to help dress the altar with kirsten and surprisingly, we did it correctly lol. absolutely no one knew what to do, and fernando was being a lil’ @$!@#$ and not paying attention. then.. it was time to get our “diplomas” and surprisingly, a lot of people cheered for me haha i luv u guys!!
- so after church, all the graduates were just hanging around in front of church, taking a shitload of pictures. lol me, alaina, kristeen, and maia tried taking one on the street and we almost got ran over. haha ^^ err so i almost got a picture with everyone at the time. haha and i almost got a family picture.
- alright so it’s castaway now. and might i tell you, it was freakin’ nice. me, maia, john, chris, grant, ricky, nick s, and a bunch of other people walked around and the view is pretty nice. haha we surprisingly saw our school o.o alright so it was a sit down dinner and i saw with maia, kristeen, alaina, daniela, sara, kirsten, and amanda. surprisingly, there weren’t that annoying lol and we actually talked. we got our yearbooks and they were really nice haha thank u miss rufus ^^
- so were we getting our awards and i surprisingly got a lot of them. i got the service award (for color guard). student council. computer award. perfect attendance. math lab haha (factoring). writing?? lol. a bunch of CJSF ones. honor roll (stupid science -.- u SCREWED ME OVER!!) and a lot more lol
- the food was freakin’ good. the “beef” was good lol not so much the chicken. the bread was the bomb lol. the rice and salad?? lol was good too. but like, the fact my table was last and we were FREAKIN’ HUNGRY!! lol but whatever… at least we got to eat at the end.
- then, we signed yearbooks lol. out of 38 i got lik 22 lol pretty good but we’re gunna see most of them next thursday so it’s all good ^^ haha. a lot of them were pretty heartfelt and some of them were basically the memories i had with all of them. at the very end though, people were rushing to sign each other’s yearbook lol it was pretty funny. and it didn’t really kick in that we were “Graduating” but oh well..
- hmm so after castaway, me and kristeen adn maia and alaina were supposed to go to pablo’s house lol (he didn’t even want us there) haha but naww, me and kristeen crashed at aimee’s house.. it was pretty fun cuz we slept the whole day?? haha. oh and i made a “facebook” lol
- hmm then later, we went to the 2pm/wondergirls concert! with jessie and kristeen. damn„ we were late so we couldn’t get our freakin’ VIP meet/greet -.- damn it.. oh well.. at least we got to the concert. if only were early.. ah oh well.. but i got to see nichkhun from a “distance” lol.
- hmm then after, we got picked up at lik 10 and get pulled over by a cop because of registration lol. then after, we ate in n out. it was about 11. me jessie and kristeen were just basically talking about our lives lol and “men” haha so basically we were talking about nick lol.
- by the time i got home, it was like.. 12:30 haha well that was one hell of a fun day.
i really don’t fuckin’ know anymore.
it’s like talking to two different people. either through text or in person or when he’s with different people. i love him but he can be such a little whore. OBVIOUSLY… i’m with him, but he still flirts with every fuckin’ girl. he tells me that i’m the only girl that matters to him… but that’s not what he shows to every one else.
he says that i’m the “girl that he wants to be with” but he flirts with other girls that he’d “hit and leave” fuckin’ ASIJFDIASJRIAJEOIRJAIEJROIAJSEIO i’m so frustrated. i’m so stupid. i knew this would happen… but he led me on to something that i knew he’d believe in.
why is it that if i got mad, it’s not big deal… but when he gets mad, it matters. because of the fact i’m a girl?? yeah maybe that’s it. i don’t deserve this but i was stupid enough to fall in too deep.
this is why i learn to never fall in too deep, but i was stupid enough to do it -.-
i'm immature. i either get cranky or i start crying. i get irriated so damn easily, but that doesn't mean i don't love you. i'm childish, i still love all the cartoon characters. i can act like a baby. i laugh. i cry. i get mad. i get sad. but most of all.. i'm not who you think i am.